Terrorists Foiled in the North

30th June 2025
Birmingham, New Britain

A man and a woman were arrested and removed from a train from Scarborough at Cottingham railway station yesterday.

Reports of massive Home Security Activity on the principle roads leading to the Humber Bridge: the M180, A15, M62, A63 and A164.

Cottingham station master, Dave Vincent, 48, said that it was a “relief to see Home Security doing their job and keeping a lid on the separatists.”

There have been a number of attacks by the terrorists in recent months, most notably the bombing of the Visitors Centre at Jorvik Viking Centre in York in April. Many more have been foiled.

On Saturday terrorists sprayed the slogan Vikings Not Brits in red paint over Clifford’s Tower in York. The historical Keep was built by William the Conqueror to control Northern rebels.

Dr. Haldane Brown, Chief geneticist of British Verification Department, said that the Northern terrorists failed to understand the genetic coding of verifiable Britishness.

Patriotic volunteers are scrubbing the slogan off the walls.