Scottish Incursions repelled by Fifth Battalion

30th June 2025
Birmingham, New Britain

“Why would anyone want to leave New Britain for Scotland?” asked Lieutenant-Colonel Cramwick, Commander of the Fifth Battalion of the Royal Fusilliers in his armoured personnel carrier while on an inspection of the border area with NBBC.

There had been another skirmish between the Percy’s Scouts, the Recce Platoon and the Scottish Border Force on Saturday.  The blue-uniformed Scots have crossed into New Britain and met with force six times in the last two months.

Reports of large parties of vagrants trying to pass over the border into Scotland were dismissed by the Lieutenant-Colonel who blamed tourists for their poor eyesight and confusing scout and guide orienteering parties with vagrants.

According to the Lieutenant-Colonel the escalation of the frequency of these encounters was expected given the good weather and lack of adequate navigation expertise on the part of the Scots. “They just don’t have the GPS kit or the ability to use maps.”

The crash in the economy North of the border has had a serious impact on living standards; the GDP has dropped while the Scottish national debt has increased. Scottish poverty indices have risen.